Sunday, October 29, 2017

Nobody Knows What My Halloween Costume Is: What's Yours?

So, like nearly everyone else in North America, I will be dressing up for Halloween.

I think as kids we all assume that one day we'll stop getting dressed up for Halloween, but I've found that's not the case. The only difference, is the costumes turn from superheroes and princesses, to slutty blue collar workers or animals, and clever puns.

 




















I don't have a problem with this, but we're severely lacking in creativity and individuality here people. I saw THREE zombie costumes yesterday. THREE. And there were only no more than 25 people in the bar at the time.

Do you know how many Eleven costumes I've seen? Too many. Far too many.

So last year, as my first ever "I'm too old for this but who cares" costume, I was Amy Winehouse. Not very creative or special, but as most people who know me know, I'm a huge Winehouse aficionado, and it was something I felt I had to do, to grow as a stan.



But THIS year, this year my friends, not only am I going a more creative root, but I get the great privilege of doing a couples costume.

And as much as I wanted to torture my poor boyfriend with something cutesy like "Milk and Cookies", Candy Bars, or Sandy Ollson and Danny Zuko (which, don't ask me why, I actually own both jackets for); I couldn't bring myself to do that, for two reasons.

1) My boyfriend puts up with enough of my gross couple shit

and

2) I want to be original

So this year, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you a couples costume you will undoubtedly have no idea the origin of:



Clarence and Alabama Worley of "True Romance"



So, was I right? 

I was.

You have no idea who these people are. Well, you MIGHT know that those two people are literally, as in the fantastic Christian Slater and the gorgeous Patricia Arquette (girl crush as fuck); but you probably don't know the movie, True Romance.

Long story short, it's a Quentin Tarantino written and directed crime, drama, romance about a guy and a hooker who get married and accidentally end up with a briefcase filled with cocaine. 

I won't bother really trying to explain it, because I can't do it justice, but you really should see the fucking movie, it's amazing. 

Now unfortunately, I could not acquire people to play Drexyl and Floyd, but I am very excited to be able to do this costume this year, despite the fact that nobody will know who I am, and I'll probably get mistaken for an actual hooker in the get-up.

But there you have it, my original and hardly done costume. 

If you have something better, please send me pictures at tflpeekaboo@gmail.com and I may put it up on the blog.

And that's it for today folks, 

have a very happy, very tipsy Halloween,


Yours,

Chelsea

UPDATE




We were very cute, and yes, nobody knew who we were.

Monday, October 23, 2017

Indie Concert Promoters & Managers Are Dickheads

If anyone here has paid recent attention to any of my social media, I recently started a record label / management company. It's fairly small, and I really have no idea what the future can possibly hold for it, but I'm incredibly amazed at the support I've received in the process, and thankful for the awesome bands I now have the privilege to work with.

But this isn't a post about my label. This is about other promoters/bookers/managers that I've encountered so far. And my big question for the mass majority of them.

Why are you such dicks?

Honestly, I have no idea how any of you get work from these bands.


My examples of this douchery are as follows:

1) Why Do You Treat The Bands Like Shit?




I've seen bands show up with all of their equipment for shows only to have the promoter let them know they can't play because they only sold 8 tickets instead of 10, and I've seen promoters take bands off the set list without even notifying the musicians, for no reason other than they changed their minds, even after confirming.

You may think it's only fair because you didn't get the money you expected, or you found a better band, but by doing these things, you're losing clients and making a bad rep for yourself.

2) Why Don't You Co-operate With Other Promoters?




This isn't just a personal addition (although, I'm still fucking pissed).
But why don't promoters work with other promoters? It seems fairly obvious that two heads are better than one, as is two promoters working together. I think the problem is probably that promoters/bookers heads are so big and shoved so far up their own asses, that they want to be the single proprietor and big shot for all of their events.

I'm sorry, but the only way to get ahead in life is to build each other up, not try to beat each other out of business. You dumbass.

3) Why Don't You Support The Bands?




I guess for most of these people, it's all names and numbers. But for some, myself included, it seems completely absurd to not be involved in the local music scene. You will never catch any of these promoters and bookers at a show cheering in the pit or wearing a local band t-shirt or posting a local bands ITunes link on Facebook. Because let's be real, they don't give a fuck about your music, they give a fuck about how many tickets you'll sell for them.


So I guess my summation of this is, stop being such dicks. The only reason to get involved this way should be for a love of music and helping the music community grow and be successful.
Support the bands, team up with the managers, and get your heads out of your asses, because we're all here to develop together.

I'm not Atlantic Records, you're not Live Nation, and that group of 20 year olds playing the Smiling Buddha isn't fucking Green Day. So don't be a bitch about it.



Yours aggravatedly,

Chelsea




Saturday, September 16, 2017

Some of The Best Things/Songs Can/Should Happen By Accident

It has always bothered me how hard people try to make music that other people will like. A lot of independent artists spend hours on hours trying to make "the next big hit" that will send them into fame and fortune.

And even though anyone with even an ounce of artistic ability in themselves, also has at least a little part of narcissism that wants credit for their work, myself included; I never set myself out to make a song with the idea that I want it to be very successful; I make my own music just based on what I like, and what I want to convey, regardless of what I think a mass majority would want to hear, and I'll tell you why.

If you look back at a lot of notable long-loved songs, a majority of them happened by accident, or without any intention of wide success.




Examples of this would be Money For Nothin', by Dire Straits, which was written by a guy making minimum wage, who, while working a sh*tty shift, decided to write down everything that bothered him about his life. He later decided to turn the words into lyrics.

The point wasn't for a successful song, it was just what he was feeling.

Or,


(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Party) by the Beastie Boys, which was just a gag song made by the group to make fun of other bands making similarly related, meaningless party songs, and they had no intention of even releasing it. Their producer added guitar and drum tracks, and released the song himself.

OR,



Smells Like Teen Spirit, by Mr. Kurt Cobain, which was a joke song, stemmed from Kurts ex girlfriend graffitiing the line "Kurt Smells Like Teen Spirit"; Teen Spirit being a deodorant line, introduced in 1991.
Supposedly, when Kurt started rifting the song, the band thought it was hilariously stupid, and kept writing it, as a joke.

ORRR,


Stuck In The Middle With You, by Stealers Wheel, which was a parody on the seemingly nonsensical ramblings of a man infamously known as Bob Dylan, who would often refer to people as "clowns" or "jokers" in his very non-comedic songs.

Stuck In The Middle With You eventually ended up being the iconic song played on the radio as Michael Madsen cut off a captives ear in the infamous Quentin Tarantino movie, Reservoir Dogs.

And just one more for good measure,


Another One Bites The Dust, by Queen, which was another song never intended for release. Only when Michael Jackson came backstage and convinced the band to release it anyway, did it become one of the most famous songs Queen ever recorded.

One can assume there are many more songs made unintentionally or with sarcasm in mind. And, to me at least, it seems like the absolute worst songs are made with the intention of popularity. I would name off a few, but you can just assume I mean anything you'd hear on KiSS 92.5.

In a year, nobody's going to remember these "chart topping" songs that took 16 writers, 5 producers, and millions of dollars worth of in-your-face bullshit marketing, that were industry produced just so that the majority of the world will like it.

And not everyone SHOULD like one song! Everyone should have some diversity and an individual taste in what they like listening to, instead of voluntarily having the same song, mixed 40 different ways, shoved down their throats every time they make their commute to work in the morning. We shouldn't be making music for everyone to like, we should be making music we like, and be pleasantly surprised if a group of other people like it too. That's the reason for genres, and the reason for music in general! Music is for self fucking expression.

You cultureless pigs.

(You know you're a hippie when you use the term "self expression" in serious context.)

I think the moral of this exceptionally long and ranting post is that there is absolutely no point in spending all of your time trying to make a song people will like.

You shouldn't make music with narcissistic intentions, because the majority of these songs won't "make it" anyway, and you will have nothing to be proud of for yourself. Therefore, make a gag song just for the fuck of it, keep writing the stupid song with the dumb lyrics, and make the song that you think is only important to you, and others wouldn't understand.

Just make something YOU like, because YOU like it, and who knows, those stupid lyrics or that song that only makes sense to you, could become something actually noteworthy anyway.


Alright, rant done.


And if you actually read all of my angry, uneducated bullshit, you're a fuckin loser.


Yours,

Chelsea



"Sweet Child o' Mine - Guns N Roses 
While messing around during preproduction of 1987’s “Appetite for Destruction,” Slash started playing around with a string-skipping exercise. Axl Rose heard the riff and convinced the guitarist to play the melody again during rehearsal the next day. Axl started singing along and the result stayed at #1 for 2 weeks in 1988." 
          - thechive.com




Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Having Writers Block: An Anti-Uplifting Blog Post

I seem to have hit a productivity block, that has obstructed my creativity for weeks on end.

Not only have I not had the ability to write anything for this blog, but I've also been temporarily robbed of any musical inspiration I could have.

My days mainly consist of working on garageband for a few hours, screaming in frustration, the occasional tear, eating mac and cheese out of the pot, feeling like a pig, and then feeling sorry for myself. Yes, in that order. (Currently on the mac and cheese phase, as I type).

I don't really understand how it happens, and I don't really care to know why. All I want is for my brain to stop converting into the IQ level of Karen Smith every fucking time I plug in a keyboard or bring up a blank document.

And along with this lack of productivity, I have increasingly felt more useless every single day. For me, there's something about going weeks without writing anything that makes me feel like everything I do is absolutely pointless. Because, what good am I to anybody if I can't do the only things I'm relatively good at? (I could go into further detail about all the new ways I've learned to hate myself through this block, but nobody really wants to listen to that).

Yes, I'm being very melodramatic, and I'm fully aware of that. But everyone's allowed to be self-absorbed sometimes, okay?

In all honesty, I'll probably have something notable up on youtube in a couple weeks, I just figured I'd let everyone know that I am dealing with a moderate case of writers block, most likely due to a subconscious need to be dramatic. All the fucking time.


In conclusion, I hope you have a lovely, much more rewarding day, than mine.


Yours,

Chelsea



Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Find All The Coloured Records You Need In Your Collection

So a couple of days ago I started searching for a gift for someone. I, being highly intrigued with vinyls, decided that records was a good way to go.

And as we all know, coloured vinyls are beautiful and exclusive records; they are reserved for being limited editions, are more expensive, and harder to come by. It's actually kind of insane how much more someone will spend on a coloured record as opposed to a regular one, which has no notable difference in sound quality or material, only a change to the aesthetic of the record itself.

Some would even argue that coloured records don't last as long as black ones.

But I'm not one to talk, since I've bought two since yesterday.

Because you've gotta' admit, there's a certain satisfaction in owning the coloured version of a great album.

But what I'm getting at, is that I found a really awesome website where you can look up almost any band and find all the coloured vinyls of it that are available for purchase online. From Depeche Mode to Moose Blood, to Rancid, there are tons of coloured records waiting to be stored away in your collection.

The website offers pictures of the vinyls (obviously), info regarding the individual records, and links to sellers on Discogs.com.

The website is called coloredvinylrecords.com (not blunt at all), but please don't go crazy. I've already went through their entire showcase, and spent around a hundred dollars.



Happy vinyl buying,

Chelsea